Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
