there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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