I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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