I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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