i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize