Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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