At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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