Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
