if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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