babies were throwing up all over the place
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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