i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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