I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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