Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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