How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
