I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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