sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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