So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
