I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
