Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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