she looked like the bat from fern gully.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
