so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
