And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
