Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
