I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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