I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize