There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hippo gnu deer
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
