yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
