he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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