The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
