Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
