The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
