haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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