Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
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