it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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