...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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