ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
