Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
