yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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