I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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