If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
