Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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