Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
