you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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