nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize