So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize