This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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