SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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