my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
