There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
40s are totally the cure
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
