dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
