Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
