Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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