she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
