you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
