Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you win again, gameday.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
