Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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