K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
