you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
