I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
