I hate your face
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
