well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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