he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Even my vagina gasped.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
