seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
