Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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