I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
