yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Randomize